Missing a Friend

I know this post may seem a bit depressing, but it reflects the emotions I was experiencing at the time of the event.  The context is that  I was on my way home from out of town, when I received a call I had been dreading, and that was that a friend of mine who had been battling stage four liver cancer had died.  I am not entirely sure if there is a great "wrap up" to this particular post, but I think what I am attempting to communicate is that it is okay, even as a people who are looking toward something greater in heaven to struggle by the grace of God, with the reality of the now.

It is hard to know how to feel.
A friend of mine died last night.
He was not too old--28 but he had cancer--stage four liver cancer.
Not good.
I think I knew from the day he told me that he was going to die.
But I wanted to be suprised
I wanted to see him get well.
We prayed for him, anointed him with oil, and he took medicine.
But he died anyway.
I know God has a reason, has a plan, I was just hoping it would be for healing.
I know my friend would not argue with God's decision.
And I am not arguing either, but...
I still wish it was different.
I don't miss him yet, its too early.
But I will, and I guess its that thought that that most saddens me.
I will see him soon--after all, life is but a vapor, and eternal life with Christ is forever.
It is to this hope that I look, and try to find joy.
An eternity with God and his children.
For now, I feel the bittersweet grief of someone passing beyond my reach, but knowing they are close to God.
But all my emotions are still a bit of a mess.
Its hard to know how to feel.